Kicking Cancer to The Kerb

 

 Hi Incredible Readers, Ward 27 is a wonderful ward for teenagers and young adults. It is a ward filled with friendly staff who always greet you with a smile on their face. They provide you with five star care. They make your stay in the ward as comfortable as possible. It's home sweet home. There's rooms that make you think you're in a luxury hotel with room service. You get to do a bunch of activities to take your mind off being sick. Colouring, Playing Play-Station, drawing, and watching shows and movies on the TV's. The chill out room is fantastic. You get to read or play games. It's a hub of relaxation to get away from all the side effects of medication. Getting bubble baths is the ultimate pamper session you could dream of. Getting a free quilted handmade blanket is one of the perks of being hospitalised. If I had to give it a rating it'd be 10/10.  They let you donate things as well as take part in the make a wish foundation. It allows you to do the thing...

 Hey Cancer Survivors,  Remission. It sounds like the promised land. It's a goal you work towards. Getting back to reality is your number 1 priority. You have an army of friends and family behind you. They've supported you every step of the way. They're like cheerleaders cheering you on. Go Wild-Cats! It's time to get back to business. Pushing the pause button on life is over. You get to restart. You can be a whole new person if you want. Climbing a mountain of pain, and walking out of it on the other side to a finish line should earn you the chance to do a cliché Disney Prince victory dance when they get the girl in the end. It brings me to a line from Hannah Montana The Movie. It goes along the lines of: ;Life's a climb, but the view's great.' Yeah, it's a sappy one liner, but it allows one to appreciate how much effort it is to cling onto life, and keep living it to the fullest. Yes, I used to do the things I enjoyed when I was going through treatmen...

 Hi Amazing Future Writers,  It's the final step to getting back to normal. It's painful. I'd clench my jaw to freeze it out. The epic fail moment of not wailing hits you like a ton of bricks. First the nurse will rub alcohol on the area to clean it because the part where the needle is inserted is deep. It sticks in your skin like glue. They remove the needle holding the PICC line in place. Mine was not moving an inch. The needle was stuck. They had to get more supplies to get it out of my skin. Then the part connecting the bungs had to be yanked out. I screamed my head off like a kid howling in pain. After the line is out, it's the best feeling in the world. You've reached the finish line of your treatment. You deserve a medal. After my line was removed; my arm got cleaned up with an alcohol swab, and I was good to go home.  You can be on cloud 9. All of that hard work to get better paid off. You're given a clean bill of health. What more could a person want? T...

 Hey Biscuit Eaters,  When you're going through trials, and tribulations in life prayer to a higher power works. Praying to the One true god (Allah), makes you forget about cancer. You have to be passionate about something if you want to be cured. Every afternoon, or night, I'd raise my hand in supplication, and pray, I'd ask for everything and anything. You have to be sincere if you want your prayers to be answered. Crying, begging, to a reasonable limit can help. If you're desperate enough to want to get better for your loved ones. Close you eyes, look to the heavens, and ask until you've poured your heart and soul out to the Lord of the World.  A really cool one liner that I've said in my life is:  'Ask and you shall receive.' Always ask God with conviction, about anything. Seeking help from a higher power will give you the strength to keep living. Making long prayers is like having a conversation with God. He's all-seeing/all-knowing, so he'l...

 Hey Disney Plus Chillers,  Silence fills you like a void. You build up your walls as high as the sky. These walls protect you from getting hurt again. Shutting people out can cause you to lose your voice. You close yourself off from the people who are closest to you. You have this guarded look in your eyes, because you're not ready to face the world after you're grieving the loss of a person you shared a room with in hospital. The yellowed pages of your open book slam shut. That once bubbly/out-going personality fades into the background. You crawl back into your shell; just like a caterpillar crawls into a cocoon. You don't feel like fighting for a few seconds. You lock yourself behind a mask, and you throw away the key. You forget what it feels like to let your voice out of it's cage, and soar over the rooftops like a lioness's roar. I'll stop rambling now and give you some space to process this.  Then the reality checks come. People want you to snap out of i...

 Hi Aspiring Bloggers,  Having a lousy time staying awake? Not being interested in doing anything? Feeling too whacked out to interact with family? These are a few ways to make the people in your inner family circle worried. You get taken to the hospital. You get swabbed up your nose, and at the back of your mouth. Then you get taken to a room, and you're hooked up to machines. IV paracetamol, and fluid IV's. Being hooked up to machines reminds me of Frank Castle a.k.a The Punisher in the hospital scene of the Marvel Series The Punisher. I know bad news kicks you in the stomach like a train crashing into your happy-go-lucky attitude. Finding out you have tested positive for covid makes you wish the ground would open up, and swallow you up, and maybe spit you out again.  You have to be isolated. Staying in one room can drive you crazy. It feels like you're caged in because you can't travel around the ward. The chill-out room's calling your name. One time I was in th...

 

 Hey BBQ lovers,  Having an X-Ray to see whether the lymphomas had shrunk was an outer-body experience. You have to stand behind a radiation screen, so they can get the best picture of your chest. The results were positive. The lymphoma had shrunk. After having another PET scans where the radiation went in my line, and a cannula, the results came back. I got called into the ward. The lady doctor told me some news. It shocked me to my core. The news was:  'The PET scan is clear. The cancer is gone. We have to stop the intense chemo otherwise you could go into an ICU room. We'll do lighter chemo to still make sure that the lymphoma stays gone.' To find out great news like this is amazing. I was over the moon with happiness. The reality of it doesn't sink in. You do a double take and ask: 'Are you sure? Is it really gone?' When you hear an affirmative all the air rushes out of your lungs. You're on cloud nine. You should pray the prayer of thanks to God. You sh...

 Hey Imaginative People,  When you're cooped up in a room with bad news, you don't automatically look forward to anything. Moody young adult putting walls up around themselves to shut out the world sums it up. Then after a few hours you find out the greatest news ever. New life. Another little human to lift your spirits up. Even though you'll get less attention, you have to suck it up from behind your guarded ivy covered walls. You use them like a shield to protect yourself from being forced to open up to people. You might not be in the mood to smile, because you've been taken out of the spotlight for a second, but hearing new life has arrived in the world brings an ear splitting grin on your face.  Looking at the picture of a beautiful baby girl can make your hardened strong out look on the battlefield of cancer melt into a puddle of goo. There'll be wagers whether it's a boy or girl. Knowing you won the wager puts you on top of the world. You know you've g...

 Hey Potterhead's,  There's a relatable line in the Quran about death. It goes along the lines of: 'Every soul will taste death.; I know it's kind of bleak, but we all have to return to dust one day. I almost did. You feel a bubble of air get trapped in your chest, you can't breathe, your eyes start rolling back in your head, and you start  panicking and praying the shahadat, which goes along the lines of: 'I bear witness that there is one true God worthy of worship, the one alone without no partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad is his servant and messenger.' You will be a martyr. I was brought back from giving up. I heard a voice next to me saying: 'Come back to me. Don't give up. Fight.' I tried my hardest to fight. I felt myself slipping away. I nearly gave up. I felt a hand on my chest trying to bring me back. I know death is scary, but if you are a good patient person who is strong in facing tests/trials of tribulations will get the high...

 Hi Gorgeous Readers,  The first time I shared a room with someone was at night-time. It was the worst experience at first. Having someone blasting T.V shows across from you isn't the greatest feeling when you dislike noise. Eventually, you have to suck it up, and deal with it. The next couple of weeks in my home away from home, I got to know the person's male parent. The most down to earth, kind person. I was super formal at first, because if a person is all tatted up, you get scared out of your mind. To find out they're compassionate, and understanding makes you more comfortable around them. I preached about my religion loads. Even though the person couldn't chat much, I still felt connected to them, because they knew what I was going through silently.  The person had a cool sensory lava lamp. I used to stare at the colours at night time. or during the day. It made me feel safe and calm. I was in that room until I had a mouth infection. I had to go in a different room...

 

 Hey Peaches,  Getting pampered with a bubble bath is like tasting a little slice of heaven. You forget about everything that's swirling around in your head. There's just you blasting your tunes on YouTube Music. You're belting out lyrics to songs on the top of your lungs. It's the best feeling in the world when you kick back and relax. I loved playing with the bubbles. I spent a long time chilling in there. I was worried about drowning in a bath the first time I went in one, but there's this electric chair that they strap you into, and they lower you into the water once it's warmed up to a temperature you prefer. I also got a free head massage when the nurses helped me wash my short hair. Shampooing and conditioning your hair twice makes it soft. You get a billion compliments.  Some mind-boggling advice will be parted to you. Sit back, relax against those fluffy pillows, have some spring- rolls, ease into your favourite pair of loungewear/PJ's/hoodie's/...

 

 Hey Netflix and Chillers,  If you're Indian, you know our food contains 95 percent spice. If you're a cancer patient that luxury is taken away from you. You have to eat bland food. For those of you who carry a bottle of hot sauce, you have to wave goodbye to it. Sad times right? You gotta forget about eating spicy food. My male parent lives on tobasco, or the Algerian hot sauce in all types of different food. The red and green chillies are a memory from the past. Having people with African roots in the family. They love paprika and chilli powder in food. This will give a person heart burn. Even ketchup tastes horrible. You have to eat bland food like mac and cheese, or vegetarian food. You miss meat. For someone who eats different types of meat such as:  Paloney (Similar to a pepperoni) Cold meat Chicken strips Chicken legs/ wings Lamb chops Lamb ribs Steak Burgers Roast chicken.  Crispy chicken Sausages. Donner Brisket The list goes on. Living without meat would ma...

 Hi Pet Lovers,  When you're on the roller coaster ride of  chemotherapy; you'll have to take steroids. You won't look like a body builder or anything. You're feet will get swollen like a pregnant person. They make you lose all your sleep. You'll do all-nighters for a long time. Not going to sleep for 8 hours straight takes a toll on your health. I used to not sleep the whole night. I used to wake up at 6AM. Most of the time I'd be eating tip-tops. Mr. Freeze got me through some tough times. Drawing got me through the nights when heartburn kicked in. I could relate to a pregnant person. I'd wish my cramps, heartburn, and swollen feet on a sibling who was bringing new life into the world when I was having my butt kicked by chemo.  Most of the time I'd go to the loo. Every five seconds I'd press the buzzer to call someone. Being at home in my own bed was okay. I would just need someone to be near me. I'd go downstairs super early, which wasn't ...

 Hi deep thinkers,  You might be asking what does it mean to be neutropenic? It means the white blood cells are low. They can't fight infections like warriors anymore. Your immune system is too weak to survive, which leaves you open for infections to feast on your red blood cells. Having a messed-up defence system on the inside makes you become careful of food. You have to be careful of a few food groups such as:  Berries Ice-cream from a van. Lettuce/Cucumbers.  Some salad, and berries have bacteria's on them that the body can't fight against when undergoing treatment. You have to rest a lot. It's like a caterpillar going into a cocoon. You have to wear a mask most of the time. It's like having a secret identity. Maybe you'll be Miles Morales from Spiderman Into the Spiderverse. Being an outsider looking into the world, which is moving on around you while you're in a bubble of isolation. The loneliness eats away at you. It's like you're a shadow in...

 Hi doodlers, and daydreamers,  Cramps. This is a word I'd associate with the monster that comes one time in a month for a girl. I was wrong. Cramps come from eating too much watermelon. I was in for a ride through the wringer of pain. These cramps started in my fingers, ended up in my legs/feet. Some came in my stomach and ribs. It was not recommended if you've got a low pain tolerance. It stops you from relaxing on the sofa. I'd recommend you put your feet up to get rid of them. You have to rub a balm on the area that's cramping up. Walk around or stand up, and put pressure on it. If you're a pregnant person you'll feel my pain.  Cramps can happen if you don't have enough potassium in your body. Eat bananas. I heard chocolate works too. That's an unbelievable fact to know. Sometimes you might not be glugging enough water. I had to be tied down to wires from a fluid machine. It's not the best feeling in the world. It restricts you from moving around...

 

 Hi Nerds and Brainiac's,  Blood coming out of your veins isn't a pretty sight. Some people cringe away from it. Others feel light-headed. Some people feel faint/drained. They have to sit down afterwards. I don't have any of these problems. I'm a professional at getting blood taken out of my body. I don't cower in fear when looking at needles, or blood. I know it's a weird quirk, but everyone has something that makes them unique. When you've had 3 or more bottles of blood taken out of your body, it's bound to make you queasy. I am immune to the powers of queasiness when it comes to this. The blood gets taken out of the PICC line to check if your blood markers look good. It also flags up any infection markers to see whether you are neutropenic. I'm gonna give you some mind-blowing advice. Sit back, relax against those fluffy pillows, cuddle a stuffed animal, wear your favourite pair of loungewear/PJ's/hoodie's/T-Shirt's/joggers. Listen lou...

 Hey Weirdo's and Dork's,  Getting strapped down with wires attached to a fluid machine isn't a big deal. It's uncomfortable. Walking around with it is hard. Especially if you move like Dash from the Disney Pixar movie The Incredibles 1 and 2.It pumps water into your body to give you nutrients if you're not eating or drinking much. Watching it beep is annoying. I preferred the I.V paracetamol machine better. It gives you life when you're burning up like Jacob Black before he becomes a werewolf in New Moon . Colourful mood lighting helps you to relax when you're hooked up to these machines at night time. It keeps you un-infected for a long time. It makes you run to the loo a lot.  The morphine machine was really fun. Clicking the clicker when it went green to get more of the drug in your system to alleviate pain is fun. One time I pressed it when it was red. Big mistake on my part. The machine started going crazy. Don't do that. Plus there was this octop...

 Hi Einstein's/ Ensteinettes, Drugs, they remind you of the Pablo Escobar's of this world. Or the Teresa Mendoza's of the biggest cartel from Mexico to America. These references are from renowned binge-worthy Netflix shows called Narcos, and Queen of the South . Escobar failed, but Teresa was successful. I was on a lot of medication. For someone who hadn't had the knowledge of how to swallow tablets, I was in over my head for a couple of days. So you wanna hear some of the names of these drugs? They are called:  Acyclavere Gaverpentin amitriptyline Steroids Anti-Sickness Sleeping pills. Sodium Docusate Laxedo  Lansoprazole Morphine Iron tablets. Folic acid Diphlam Cathasol These are some of the drugs I can recall off the top of my head. Some made me sleep all day. Others made me have explosive dihorrea. One made me hyper. One made my body swell up. Some were for my chest. They had a ton of side effects. Some of them protect the lining of the stomach. There were more na...

 Hi Geniuses,  Having a transfusion is not an uncomfortable experience. It's like a vampire getting more blood into their bloodstream if they're weak. The one's who survive on animal blood like The Cullen's in The Twilight Saga movies. First a team of doctors, and nurses scan the barcode on your hospital I.D bracelet. Then they put wires in your line, and attach it to a transfusion machine. Then bags of blood are attached to the machine and it's turned on at millions of miles per hour. The blood provides you with energy. It helps the red and white blood cells in your body. The white blood cells can't fight off infection due to chemotherapy. so these transfusions are used to get your body to have a healthy glow. The pale pasty looking version of you is transformed into a rosy cheeked hyperactive version of yourself. I've had 2 or 3 bags of blood in my body from these machines. I loved looking at the blood. I didn't find it repulsive and gross looking.  P...

 Hey Dudes, and Dudettes, The world doesn't spin around 360 degrees every day does it? I know that walls and people don't move. I don't drink, but it felt like I had one too many. Stumbling around the hospital room and my own home made me slow like a snail. Even snails can turn into race-car drivers, If you've seen that movie Turbo; you'll catch on to this reference. I thought I had this thing called Vertigo. Don't give your female parent ideas like this. Trust me they'll consult an oracle called Dr. Google. It's a scary thing when you can't walk in a straight line for more than five seconds. Maybe you'd fail a breathalyser test. I was sober though. I think if you move as fast as Sonic The Hedgehog, it's hard to slow down. Somewhere along the way I've heard this line: 'Slow and steady wins the race.' I don't really understand this. I move too fast like Speedy Gonzales. The whole world was zooming around like Toretto driving a...

 

 Hi Guys and Gals,  Having bad breath scares people off. Imagine having spots in your mouth is horrible. When you eat food it's like a sharp burning sensation shoots around your mouth. It's like a firework has gone off in the wrong direction. Eating food was a huge difficulty. For a person who loves eating, it was hard to get food down my windpipe. Medication made my mouth dry. A build up of this white stuff called thrush started in my mouth. Then came the burning of the throat. It's like gasoline burning on a matchstick. To soothe the pain there are a few ways to manage eating again. They are: An Indian thing called Ghee. Warm water and salt gargling. Mouthwashes Gels for the mouth. I also had a lot of water and juice to take away the pain. Ice cream did the trick as well. From Vanilla to Salted Caramel to Cookie Dough. Cornetto's and Magnums made my mouth numb. Even sticking a tip-top in my mouth numbed the excruciating pain that settled in my mouth, throat, and jaw. ...

 

Hi Unique Readers,  The most devastating part of treatment. My long thick, straight hair filled with Asian roots fell out. Big clumps were all over the floor and pillow of my hospital room. I was saddened on another level. I know it was gonna grow back, but hair is a huge deal when it comes to being a girl. We take pride in it. It shapes the foundation of who we are as people. It brings us confidence in ourselves. Each style gives us a new personality. It's not cool to have bold patches on your head. I did the next best thing. Get your male parent to cut it off until it's neck length then you don't have any problems. Scissors can do a wonderful job. It wasn't perfect, but it made me feel 10 times better. It gave me back a little bit of pride in my appearance. The rest of the hair got plaited, and secured together with bobbles (hair ties, hair bands as some of you might call them.) I sent it off to a charity called The Little Princess Trust. They use real hair to make wi...

 Hey Beautiful Readers,  It's not a picnic in the park. Your internal organs can get damaged. Your kidneys and heart. This is stressful business. The first time some crazy things happened. Shivering and seizures during video calls are so embarrassing. It gets done though your line and it's intense for 2 hours a huge bag gets put on the machine, you have to wait around until the bag empties. I think they put some type of drugs in there. Then it gets flushed with some water. It reminds me of the movie Flushed Away. The scene of the rat getting flushed in a toilet isn't an image worth remembering, but ending up in an alternate universe filled with trials and tribulation resonates with me a little better. It's not fun waiting for the effects of it to last. I'm gonna give you some advice on how to pass the time, so grab those nice quilted blankets that you got from hospital, sit back and relax, have a choc-ice, wear your favourite pair of loungewear/PJ's/hoodie...

 

 Hi Crazy Kids,  This is a really interesting procedure. They put stickers on your chest, and some weird jelly thing with a probe to take pictures of your heart. You'd think an echo is when your voice bounces off walls at a loud volume of billions of decibels per minute. It's not like that. This is to determine where the PICC line goes. It can be in your arm, or near your chest depending on which is the best possible area for it to be in. You just have to sit back, and breath deeply no matter how much it hurts. The probe goes over your chest and ribs to get a clear picture of your heart. It takes a few minutes. They show you a picture of your heart afterwards. It's amazing how all the muscles and valves look on a picture. You do a double-take and think is that really how a human heart looks. Everything looked good in my P.O.V. (point of view). They give you a tissue to wipe all the alien type jelly off your body. Then the really technical stuff happens when a line gets put ...

 Hi Fantastic Readers,  I know this might be a painful process, but it's not. The stress of getting complex results that turn your world upside down, and inside out can trigger your anxiety. Plus the big monster of hunger strikes you since you have to fast for a certain amount of hours. Drinking water is okay. You can chug as much H2O as you want. Then your parent fills out all the forms with your info. They ask a lot of personal questions, so if I were you I'd give all my secrets out on the table, and hope they thank me for my candor right? After these long minutes of awkward questioning you get taken to a relaxation room and take your glucose level and inject radiation into your cannula. I'm gonna give you a warning here: 'Don't go near pregnant women, children who are 5 and below, teenagers who are under the age of 18, because you'll cause them serious harm.' I'd give you a little golden piece of advice, so grab your favourite bar of chocolate, slip i...

 

 Hey Aspiring Bloggers,  Needles might be a phobia for some people, but I love them. Getting blood drained out of you like a vampire sucks it out of their victims isn't as terrifying as it sounds. The Damon Salvatores would have a field day if they were in a hospital. For those of you who don't know who that is, he's a character from the binge-worthy series on Netflix- The Vampire Diaries . He's the character that's filled with darkness. Just like the dark vibes a room full of research docs give you. They're like the mad scientists of the world trying to identify billions of skin samples. Maybe they're an alien species trying to take over the human race. No that's imagination turned on its' head right? All you have to do is lie down and think about all the happy thoughts on a barren island in your dream holiday destination.  The doc wipes booze on your neck with a white cotton swab. It burns like a bee stinging you. He uses an ultrasound machine to ...

 

 Hi Beautiful People,  Getting taken to a V.I.P side room is the best feeling in the world. You're like a celebrity in the hospital. Maybe Hannah Montana famous, or Christopher Wilde from Starstruck famous. For those of you who don't know that reference it's a Disney Channel Original movie. At least, you can relax in peace while getting checked out in your temporary living situation of the E.R. Before going back to the humble abode you call home tests have to be done to you. Spending a long amount of time in this ward watching the news is the highlight of your life, even watching a show called The Cube, which is a game show.  Meeting an old timer who sleeps opposite you is a bonus. Sometimes they're amazing people. They're just lonely looking for someone to chat to. I don't know why the White Diaspora doesn't visit their grans in hospital. They get sad when the Asian Diaspora visits their family in hospital. Literally, the whole world came to my bedside. Th...

 

 Hey Guys and Gals,  Hospitals suck. They're white walls, and small spaces can suffocate a normal person. It's like caging a werewolf in a jail cell. For those of you who watch Wolfblood on CBBC you'll get this reference. Sleep. Drink. Repeat. That's all you do in a hospital it's boring. It's like trying to figure out a Rubik's cube. The wheels of your brain start going into overdrive. Think about the bigger picture. Don't question God's plan for you is all I'm saying. Maybe the big guy in the sky puts us through these obstacles to see if we can have the faith to come out of this unimaginable/impossible test as a stronger person.  Every five seconds nurses are coming to check your vitals, temperature, blood pressure, and heart rate. It's the most uncomfortable thing in the world. The blood pressure cuff squeezes the life out of your arm, until it's about to drop off out of it's socket. Time crawls by slowly when you're twiddling y...

Hi Curious Readers,  It's a scary feeling when a doc stares you in the face with the expression of a grim reaper right? There's this tight bubble of anticipation that crushes you from the inside out. It's like a monster's fist punching you in the chest and sending you flying through a window. Crazy things happen everyday. If you think having the time of your life in a fear landscape is the highlight of your day, then you're one mysterious human. Getting back on the examination couch is like being poked and prodded with the metal objects in that game Operation. So let's get down to the shocking, mind-numbing, heart breaking news. So the words that came out of this post-graduate med-school ove3r achieving doc were: "I'm afraid the X-Ray shows you have a mass on your chest. Looks like you have to stay here for further testing." The world crumbles and slips through your fingers once you hear news like that. You're pushed into outer orbit. The world...

 Hi Amazing Readers, Doing an all-nighter in the A&E is not a life experience you should look forward to. I've been there before. It's no joke. Trust me. It's not an ideal place to spend a whole night. You'd rather be Netflix and chilling, or Disney Plus and chilling. The chairs are super uncomfortable. Your back can turn numb and break into a million shards of slimy gooey sludge; you could even turn into a hunchback like Quasimodo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Getting poked and prodded like a test subject in a lab isn't fun. Someone sticking a needle in your skin should be feared on another level. I'm a huge fan of needles, they don't freak me out, I love looking at the blood. It's like a creepy fixation right? Not that I'm a creep. I think getting a cannula stuck in your arm sin't the most friendliest conversation starters right? The A&E department could be like MI6 'cause they have all your info stored in the computers. Sitting...